ICE: Knights of Silence MC Page 6

  She was frustrated with this situation. I could understand that. But how do I make her understand that she is potentially in danger and that I am not willing to take the risk of her getting hurt? Surely she knows I would always protect her.

  “Emma, please try to understand. I cannot give you any firm answers on anything right now until I have more intel. Once I get the information I need, then I’ll know how to proceed. I will not risk your safety or the life of your friend without having as much information as I can get. It isn’t how I operate. My instincts are telling me to proceed with caution. So for now, just know that there is more to this than what we know and I am doing everything in my power to protect you both. Don’t ask me how I know these things, it’s a gut feeling that I can’t explain. But in my experience, my gut feelings are usually right on.”

  Exasperated, her shoulders slumped, “I understand. It’s just that my entire life is being shuffled around, and I have obligations. You can’t expect me to change everything.”

  “I can and I do. If you want our help, you will stay here for as long as I need you to. Understood?” I would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to her. My gut did tell me there was more to this, but I was also acting out of selfish reasons as well. I was just not ready to let her walk out of my life just yet. Especially to marry an asshole who can’t even help her. What kind of man does that?

  Defeated, she nodded. I left her room and went to get the packages in my room. When I returned she was sitting on the bed staring at the wall. As I entered the room, she turned and saw the bags. She said excitedly, “Oh! What did you buy?”

  “Don’t get your panties all wet; it’s just a few things to make your stay here more bearable. You’ve got sheets, towels, blankets, and a pillow. Oh, and some lamps. I left them in my room. Let me get them.” I left to get the lamps, and when I returned, she was going through the bags I left on the bed, crying. What the fuck? I swear I’ll never understand women. “Emma, what’s wrong, why are you crying?”

  “Nothing is wrong,” she replied through her tears. “All this time that we have been apart, I really believed that the club had changed you. But now, I realize that you haven’t changed at all, have you?”

  Smiling, I replied, “I have changed. I have changed quite a bit. You just haven’t seen it yet.”

  “Well, you are still taking care of me. That has not changed,” she said sadly.

  “Emma, we may have not spoken to or seen each other in years, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be there for you when you need me. I’ll always take care of you.” Feeling a bit awkward and not sure what to say after that, I began to fidget. After a few seconds, I said, “Well, I guess I better let you get settled. If you need anything, I’m next door. Dinner is at 6, so please feel free to come downstairs and join us. It’s not formal, but it is a meal.” She nodded and I turned to leave. I had to get out of there before I pulled her into my arms and did something we would both regret.

  Chapter 6

  Emma

  I have never felt more alone than I did the moment Cade left my room. There was something so nostalgic about being around him again, even though our conversations were so much more awkward than they were when we were kids. I’ve missed him so much over the years, even though he was so mean and hateful to me near the end. I wonder what changed. He doesn’t seem mean and hateful now. He’s actually been very kind to me, agreeing to help me and involving his entire club to do so.

  What’s the deal with this club, anyway? From what I have seen, these guys are nothing like I expected. They have really surprised me. Yeah, sure, they voiced concerns at first about helping me out. I wouldn’t have expected anything less. But their willingness to help a total stranger has really impressed me. And, they have all been very polite to me. They sure don’t act like a bunch of outlaw bikers.

  Cade and his club are doing more for me in this situation than Mark. So, why am I still engaged to a man that I am not in love with? The more I thought about this, I realized what I always knew, but never would admit. I love Cade. I’ve always loved Cade. Now what in the hell am I gonna do about it?

  Shaking my head, I decided that I wouldn’t worry about that now. I’d have to deal with my feelings later. My priority was Brianne.

  Not long after the dreadful day I caught Caden with the whore, I left for college. We had not spoken to each other since then. There were so many times I wanted to call him, talk to him, see him … but after our last words, I knew he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. I still can’t believe that I am here. Coming here was the last thing I wanted to do, but I have been so worried about Brianne, and I knew Cade wouldn’t let me down.

  In college, Brianne was always there for me. Cade really broke me, and it was Brianne who got me living again. At the time, the only thing I concentrated on was my classes. Brianne would force me out. Most of the time I did not want to go, but after a while, I started to enjoy myself and forget about the hurt that Cade had caused. So now, if my suspicions are right and Brianne is in trouble, I owe her. It’s my turn to be there for her and do what I can to help her.

  I looked at my watch: 5:15pm. I had decided that I was not going to hide in my room all the time that I was here. If Cade wanted me to accept his brothers, then I needed to spend time with them. Dinner was at 6, which gave me some time to finish getting my things in order, freshen up a bit, and head down to dinner.

  Wearing my favorite skinny jeans and a black halter-top, along with my favorite black heels, I headed downstairs for dinner. When I got to the bottom of the stairs and turned toward the kitchen, the main room was filled with members of the MC and several scantily dressed women. Trying not to make any eye contact with any of them, I looked for Cade. He was nowhere to be found. As I headed over to the bar, I saw Tiny sitting there drinking a beer.

  As I approached, he said, “Hi there, Miss Emma. Are you all settled in to your room now?”

  I smiled again at his politeness. “Yes, Tiny, I am. Thank you for your help today. I really appreciate it.”

  He nodded. “No thanks necessary, ma’am; just following Ice’s orders.”

  “Speaking of Ice, have you seen him?”

  He replied, “Yep, he’s in the kitchen at dinner.” He gestured toward the kitchen. I thanked him and headed that way.

  When I walked into the kitchen, I saw the last thing I’d expected. Several brothers and ladies were seated around the big table. They were passing food, talking, and laughing. It was like a big family dinner. Caden was at the head of the table, an empty chair to his right and Honey to his left. I knew it; she must be his old lady.

  I stood in the doorway, not sure of what to do, when Cade looked up and saw me. He smiled, pointed to the chair next to him and said, “Emma, come have some dinner.” I walked over to the chair and hesitated. “Darlin’, it’s ok, please sit. If you wait any longer there won’t be any food left.”

  I nodded and sat down. Cade started passing food to me. There was roast beef, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and salad. Again, I was surprised; I didn’t think these guys would eat so well. After filling my plate with more food than I could possibly eat, Cade said, “Eat up. The roast is really good.”

  I began to eat and after the first bite, I realized that he was right. It was probably the best roast I had ever eaten, tender and juicy. I interrupted the conversation and stated, “This meal is amazing!”

  Honey chimed in and said, “Thank you.”

  She must be the cook. Great. Not only his old lady and beautiful, but a great cook too.

  Cade looked over to Honey and smiled, “You’ve outdone yourself tonight.”

  Oh my God! She blushed! Then she batted her eyes and said, “Thanks, Ice. I aim to please; you know that.” She then nudged his shoulder as if there was some secret between the two of them. Suddenly, I lost my appetite. Maybe I need to rethink my plan to stay here and get to know these people. I can’t watch Cade and Honey together all the
time. It’s just too hard!

  After dinner, some of the guys sat around the table talking, while others dispersed to the common area. When I got up to excuse myself, Cade got up as well and said, “I think I’ll join you.” I smiled at him, and then looked directly at Honey. She looked disappointed. I know I shouldn’t have been, but part of me was glad. As Cade and I walked out of the kitchen, he placed his hand in the small of my back as if to lead me out.

  “Would you like me to show you around?” he asked.

  “Thanks Ice, but Tiny already did.” I wanted to spend some time with him and talk, but he seemed preoccupied. Still, I thought I would take a chance anyway and asked, “I’d love a drink, though. Care to join me?”

  “Sure,” he replied and guided me to the bar. We sat down at the bar and he asked, “What’ll you have?”

  “Strawberry daiquiri?”

  He laughed and then said, “Sweetheart, you aren’t gonna find those foo-foo drinks here. Your choices are beer, whiskey, bourbon, or scotch.”

  Embarrassed, I replied, “Beer would be just fine, thank you.”

  He then called over to the bartender, “Prospect, two beers.” The man named Prospect nodded and pulled two glasses from under the bar, then grabbed two bottles of beer and brought them over to us. “Thanks, Scratch,” Caden said, leaving me totally confused. I thought his name was Prospect? Cade could see the look of confusion on my face and then asked, “What? What’s wrong?”

  Whispering to him so that nobody else could hear, I asked, “I thought his name was Prospect, but then you called him Scratch?”

  Cade laughed, something I seemed to make him do quite often. At least I was not making him angry. “Prospect means that he is not a full patched member of the club. He is earning his way to his patch. Sometimes I don’t always remember the newbies’ names and I refer to them as Prospect. Most of the guys do. But his name is Scratch.”

  “Oh, I see,” I replied. “I assume that Scratch is a nickname, like Ice?”

  He smiled at me, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling, and said, “Yes; and it is called a road name, not a nickname.”

  Again, feeling out of sorts for not understanding his world, I nodded and said, “Ok. I’ll try to remember that.” I needed a notebook; it would help me get everyone straight while I was here. “Cade, do you have a notepad or a notebook?”

  He looked at me quizzically, “What the hell do you need a notebook for?”

  I knew if I told him the real reason he would just laugh at me again, so I thought it best to make something up that didn’t sound so dumb. But I couldn’t think of anything that sounded good, so I stumbled. “Well … I just like to write things down.”

  Confused, he shook his head and said, “Yeah, sure.”

  “Thank you!”

  “Remind me before you go up and I’ll get you one from my office.”

  By the time I finished my beer, I was feeling out of place. The boys had started playing pool and watching TV, joking and laughing with one another. Cade stayed with me at the bar, but I got the feeling that I was cramping his style with my presence. So, when I took the last gulp of my beer, I got up to leave. Cade grabbed my arms and asked, “Where you going?”

  I turned toward him and said, “I’m a little tired. It’s been a long day for me. I think I will turn in.”

  For a minute, I swear he looked disappointed that I was leaving. But I am sure that it was just my imagination and hopeful thinking playing tricks on me. He then said, “Well, if you are tired. Let me get that notebook for you. Come on.” I followed him to his office where he grabbed a notebook and pen from his desk. “If you need anything else, you know where to find me.”

  “Thanks, Ice. I really appreciate all you are doing for me and Brianne.” I then turned to head upstairs to the solitude of my room. At least I had my notebook and I could now make notes on the things I learned. Perhaps his world isn’t as bad as I thought. I’m still a bit unsure of all of this, but I am starting to feel that if I learn more about his world, there may be a place for me in his life. I rolled my eyes to myself. What am I thinking? I’m already trying to figure out a way that I can remain here with Cade. Hell, I don’t even know if that is something he wants. I’m sure he is hooking up with Honey. He’s already taken. He wouldn’t want me.

  Chapter 7

  Caden

  After Emma had gone upstairs to her room, I finished my beer, got another one, and took it to my office, motioning for Rebel and Hawk to join me. We were meeting with Skeeter in the morning to discuss our plans for him. We needed to be prepared and devise a plan that would get him in quick and out safely.

  After a couple of hours of working through the details with Reb and Hawk, we felt we had a good plan that would work.

  “Well boys, this has been exhausting. I think I’ll call it a day. Don’t forget, Reb, we ride at 10. We are meeting Skeeter at Betty’s at 10:30am.” He nodded and I headed for my room. I have a house on the outskirts of town that I never stay at except when Ari is home from school. I feel it is important for her to have a home to come back to, but I am most comfortable in my room at the clubhouse.

  When I got to the top of the stairs, I debated on whether to check in on Emma. It has been a couple of hours … she is probably asleep by now. I headed for my door, when I heard a shriek and a bang coming from her room. Alarmed, I headed straight for her room and opened the door. There she was, standing in the middle of the room in her short pajama shorts and tank, holding a tennis shoe in her hand. She looked fucking amazing and I wanted nothing more than to lay her out on that bed. But I refrained and asked, “What the hell happened? Are you all right?”

  She looked at me shocked; I guess somehow she didn’t hear me burst into her room. “Oh my God, Cade, you startled me!”

  “I startled you? What the fuck, Emma! Why are you making all that racket?”

  She shrugged and said, “It was a spider.” I just looked at her in surprise. She had always been terrified of spiders when she was a kid, but I would have thought that she’d outgrown that years ago. I started to laugh. She scowled and added, “Cade, don’t laugh at me! You know I hate spiders.”

  I couldn’t help it, I laughed some more. “Did you get it?”

  Triumphantly, she said, “I sure did!” She was so damn proud of herself and so fucking adorable. Then she added, “Would you mind disposing of it for me?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “I cannot believe you are still afraid of spiders. And that you are still afraid to dispose of a dead one.” I walked in the bathroom to get some toilet paper and came back out. “Yes, I will get rid of it for you. I guess some things will never change between you and me.”

  “No, they won’t,” she replied, suddenly seeming sad. I threw the spider away and turned to leave.

  “Cade?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I was … well, I was wondering if we could talk a bit? If you are not too busy, that is.”

  I wondered what this was all about … she seemed nervous. “I’m always busy, darlin’, but I’ve got some time. What’s up?”

  She walked over to the bed and sat. She patted the spot next to her, inviting me to sit as well. As I walked over to the bed, she said, “So, how have you been?”

  That was not what I was expecting her to say. “I’m good, actually. Doing better than I have been in a long time.” She was the reason for that. I finally had my Emma back in my life. I’m about to face a war with the Satans but because I have reconnected with my Emma, I couldn’t be happier. Still, she doesn’t need to know all that.

  “That’s good, but that isn’t really what I was asking. It’s just … what has been going on in your life all these years? And how did you end up here – as president, no less? I mean, I know why you joined the MC, but I never believed you would stay in this life.”

  “Why do you think I joined the MC?” I asked. I know she believed she knew my reasons, but in all actuality, I was sure she h
ad no clue.

  Surprised by my question, she responded, “Well, you love motorcycles and you always liked the club.” She hesitated for a minute – thinking of more reasons, I’m sure – and then added, “Not to mention, it is the exact opposite of what your dad wanted you to do.”

  I chuckled at her reasons. She was right about two things: yes, I love motorcycles and yes, this life isn’t what my dad wanted for me. But, they were not my reasons for choosing this life.

  “Emma, there is something that you don’t seem to understand about me and my club. First of all, this club saved my life, as well as Ari’s. These men took me in when I had nothing. They gave me a job when I needed it the most. This club has always had my back, and they know I would give my life to save one of my brothers, just as they would do for me. It’s as simple as that. There is a loyalty here that you have yet to understand. There are no questions about loyalty. It’s a brotherhood and a family, for me as well as for Ari. We had nothing when I became a part of this club, and I’ll never forget what this club has done for Ari and me. My club is and will always be my first priority. Maybe after spending time here, you will come to realize this.”

  “Maybe I will, someday, but right now I just don’t understand how you could leave what you knew for this.”

  “This, as you put it, is my life. That will never change.” I know that she still does not understand, but hopefully someday she will.